21 January 2007

Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain

The Unspeakable Cat is a weblog I put up a while back, as a sort of joke intended to cheer up my wife. The central character is Hastur, who is Amy's fat, grey cat. We named him Hastur in part because we are both fans of the Chthulhu mythos, and in part because he's always been somewhat naughty.

Hastur in Kittenhood

Though affectionate, Hastur prefers to seek attention on his own schedule. He is still naughty, generally on a daily basis. His badness includes lots of cat-like behavior, such as clawing at the carpet or sofa, leaving stinking piles of waste on the carpet to protest our son's dubious affections, and rampaging in the wee hours of the night. His favorite things to ingest are milk and raw beef.

Hastur Loves Milk, Especially When It's Not His

He's quite fond of eating. Sometimes Hastur is so enthusiastic that he eats way too much and ends up doing his bulemia impression all over the carpet. He never learned to bury the things that he deposits in the litter box. Rather, he paws at vertical surfaces nearby: walls, the exterior of the litter box, or whatever else is available. To say that Hastur's spoor smells bad is a cosmic understatement. In all my years, I have never smelled anything worse.

Hastur "Buries" His Litterbox Leavings

It's a lot to tolerate, I suppose, but I manage to do it despite my aversion to his occasional extra-litterbox leavings.

I got out of the habit of updating Hastur's blog, but I've recently started up again. It's mostly a creative outlet, albeit an absurd and occasionally scatological one. Feel free to check it out; read the archives. Comment, too, should you feel moved to do so. Hastur won't mind. And if you're really nice, maybe he'll be merciful to you when the world inevitably collapses beneath the weight of the Great Old Ones...

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