That's what you get when you sit me in front of my laptop for five hours at a stretch. Right now, my head feels light and empty. It's not particularly euphoric. It's more disturbing than anything. That, combined with the fact that there is still a lot more work to be done, thousands more words to be written, lends to the overall feeling of despair.
Still, there's some feeling of accomplishment to be had. I've done a good deal of work this weekend, some of which I am pretty proud of. It's going to take several more hours of concerted effort on my part to complete what I've started. I only hope that the powers that be can look upon what I've generated and smile, knowing that I'm on the right course.
Gods, I hope I'm on the right course.
This is one of the first times I've written something (at length) from the perspective of someone who is so far removed from my own thought processes that it's similar, in some respects, to my years in high school drama. I was a method actor, and I immersed myself in the roles I played so much that I carried them around with me when I wasn't on stage. To hear my mother tell it, the two months leading up to my first performance as Scrooge in A Christmas Carol were some of the worst she'd ever spent with me. When she saw me on stage, she finally understood why.
I can't say much about the persona I've adopted for the current project. He's not like me in a lot of ways, some of them disturbing. He might be considered a good guy in the grand scheme of things, but I have trouble agreeing with that. There's more depth to him than that, even if it is to one extreme or the other.
Anyway, enough of that. I can't say anything about it, so I might as well shut up. I need to go home, finish what I've got so far, and send it off for review. Tomorrow, I get up at my normal hour and head in to work. Bother.