Gaming in Lovecraft Country

Surprisingly enough, we're not playing Cthulhu. Well ... not yet, at any rate. That comes later when Leo breaks out the campaign she was running for us back in Fairfax all those many moons ago.

No, I'm running Star Wars (Saga Edition), and we've already gotten through two games. The first was a prelude session, where the four players (Amy, Justin, Leo, and Matt) came to grips with their individual pasts and how they came to be hooked up with the Rebel Alliance (as it stands in @2 BBY). The second was a brief adventure wherein the players rescued a burned out drunk of a Jedi from a small Imperial garrison on a back-water Outer Rim planet.

Overall, it's going very well so far. Amy, after not gaming for a very long time, is enjoying herself quite a bit. It makes a difference given our new digs because the kids are sequestered upstairs, in their own bedrooms, after lights out. In Fairfax, they shared a bedroom which was literally ten feet from the dining room. That made getting them to sleep nearly impossible, especially in the rare event we had company over.

I need to formulate the next wing of the adventure. I've got ideas but I need to flesh them out. At least I know where I (think I) want the campaign to go. We probably won't play again until mid-April, as two players will be out of town, so I've got some time to work it out.

In other news, I'm trying to work up Saga conversions for an article I wrote a while back which is currently formatted for D6 R&E and SWd20 Revised Core Rules. I'd gotten a lot of them done previously, but I need to pick it up and finish it. I'm thinking I'll send it to my friends at d20 Radio and let them post it on their site. Obviously I can't sell it, and since Saga is going away there are plenty of people out there who might like to have some new material (even if it's not official).

Oh, I attended PAX East for a brief time yesterday. It was a fun trip, but it was a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Given the limited amount of time we had to look around, there wasn't much of anything to see. I suppose if you're there for panels, competitive gaming, and the like, it's probably a lot more interesting. The convention center seemed really small for the amount of attendees. The show was sold out, so you can imagine that it was packed to the gills. Oh, and the queuing area was insanity. I felt like a cow being led to slaughter.

On the plus side, I got to see Brian Audette, a friend and co-worker from Mythic. I've really missed him.

Work is going well. My first milestone as a productive member of the crew is quickly approaching. Hopefully I've made a good impression on everyone. I also flew up to Big Huge Games in Baltimore (well, in Timonium, actually) last week to meet the BHG crew and get a look at Mercury. All in all, a good trip, but I couldn't help but think about all the work I had waiting for me in Maynard.

It's a lazy Saturday. I took a very long nap after Amy got up, and I'm still somewhat groggy. The day is more or less behind me now, and I haven't a clue what to do about dinner.

All for now!

News from GDC

The following news items relate to Project Mercury, 38 Studios, and Big Huge Games.

Obviously, I'm not at liberty to discuss anything about it, but I figured I'd pass on the links to the various news articles to anyone who might be interested.

Official Press Release from 38 Studios

Official Press Release from Electronic Arts

Gamespot

Gamasutra

IGN

Ten Ton Hammer

Kotaku

Shacknews

Update: 3/11/2010
RA Salvatore interviewed by Massively.com at GDC; read the interview here.

Update: 3/12/2010
Two more articles about RA Salvatore's role in Copernicus, plus a meaty detail about the game world.

Gamasutra: R.A. Salvatore On Building Worlds, Copernicus

Joystiq: R.A. Salvatore Wants You to Die

One Month Down

I've been in my new position at 38 Studios for about a month now. Mostly, I've been learning the things I need to learn in order to do the job I've been hired to do. Next week will begin my first real foray into providing the written content they need ... and boy, is there a lot of work on my plate.

I'm excited, but also a little worried. I'm confident in my own abilities as a writer, though I will admit a little bit of performance anxiety. My overwhelming concern is: Will I be able to keep up? Working on WAR, I knew what I could do and how long it would take to get it done given the processes we used.

In my experience, though, once I've got my feet wet and I grow accustomed to what needs to be done (and how), I'll be able to work much faster. At the very least, it will provide a benchmark for what I can do in a specific amount of time, which is a good thing. Plus, I have an excellent team standing behind me, so it's not like I'm alone. The crew at 38 is incredibly supportive in every single respect. It's an awesome team to be a part of.

So, on the whole, I can't wait to get started!

In other news ...

I haven't done much gaming yet, but I'm planning to start a Star Wars game in the next 2-3 weeks. It's been hard to wrangle anyone for a game at work, largely because the people who gaming are already playing in one or more games. Not only that, but 4th Edition seems to be the default rules set in use. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm sure 4E is a great game, but it hasn't yet been proven to be [i]my[/i] game. Maybe if I pick up the new edition of the Dark Sun setting, I'll be converted. But that's a big maybe.

What I have done at work is get involved in a studio Magic: The Gathering league. I haven't played M:tG for a long, long time. The odds are pretty even, as everyone gets the same number of cards to start with (six booster packs each), and the financial investment is limited to those cards alone. I see it as a way to get to know my co-workers, and have some fun on the side.

In non-gaming news, yesterday was Maddy's birthday. She's three now, and one year closer to being old enough to draft into playing my own RPGs, card games, and board games. She's got a number of years left before she can really participate, but the first three went by so damn fast.

That's about it for now.

So Long Star Wars

There was some talk among freelancers as far back as GenCon of last year that the Star Wars RPG (published by Wizards of the Coast) was in trouble. At the very least, it wouldn't be seeing further support. Looks like it was more than just talk, as this post on the Wizards forums shows.

The salient details are as follows:

"After a lengthy evaluation, Wizards of the Coast has decided not to renew the Star Wars license with Lucasfilm. We’ve had a long and fantastic run, but with the economic downturn, we have made the tough decision to discontinue our Star Wars lines."

As a freelancer who had the privilege of contributing to a number of Saga Edition products, it's heartbreaking to see another good game take a dive. I'm hoping that another studio can take up the reins.

Update (1/30/2010)
There's a news item on StarWars.com about WotC's decision to ditch the Star Wars license. You can read it here.

My Best (Cat) Friend

Well, here we are in Massachusetts, though we lost one member of our family in the process. Not that I feel the move was responsible for our loss, but it certainly set the tone for our long drive north from Fairfax to Maynard.

Merlin, my cat, died yesterday as the movers were loading our belongings into their truck. I had taken the kids out to the Fairfax mall to keep them out of the way. Just as we parked, I got a text message from Amy: "Please come back. Merlin just died."

Stephen's high chair was like Merlin's throne.
An unobtrusive (though not unfriendly) black cat, Merlin had been a part of my life for damn near 12 years. When Amy and I worked in the fan factory, the company owner had a couple of cats. After one of them (a fluffy white and quite nearsighted cat named "Mozart") met a grisly end beneath the tire of a passing car, he bought a new kitten who would come to be known as Merlin.

Merlin wasn't the first "Merlin" to rule the company roost. The original Merlin had succumbed to some kind of heart failure, and had been replaced by Mozart. The boss had a thing for black cats named "Merlin," so before long the newest Merlin became a part of the warehouse staff (which, admittedly, consisted of Amy and myself).

Coincidentally, Merlin's arrival at the fan factory corresponded to the death of my own cat, Polly. Polly was an inbred calico with extra toes, and I'd been very close to her. She died suddenly of kidney failure (an autopsy showed that she'd only been born with one kidney to begin with). I didn't want to get attached to the new kitten at work; I was still mourning Polly's death. But I couldn't help it.

As a warehouse cat, Merlin had a special love for cardboard boxes.
While Merlin was also an office cat, he was most definitely a warehouse cat from the beginning. He spent much of his kittenhood atop our workbench, sleeping, eating, playing, and cuddling. It made an otherwise unpalatable employment opportunity acceptable, and in time Merlin came to view me as his person (with Amy running a very close second).

As much as I loved Merlin, he wasn't my cat. He belonged to the boss. However, the boss being who he was, Merlin didn't see the kind of veterinary care that he really deserved. His teeth were in dire need of cleaning, but the boss wouldn't spend the money required to get the job done. Amy and I ended up taking Merlin to the vet, and we paid something in the neighborhood of $300 out of our own pockets for a variety of tests and to have his teeth cleaned.

When the boss heard about the vet bill, he did something that we didn't expect: He gave Merlin to us. We were all too glad to have the little guy, given that the boss permitted the factory cats to wander outdoors in a very busy industrial park (which is what led to Mozart's death). The cats were very much property items to him, and though I figure he liked them in his own way, I doubt he really respected (or viewed) them as living, breathing individuals.

From that point, Merlin came to live with us in our apartment. He adjusted rapidly, for an apartment has creature comforts not typically had by warehouse cats. Sofas, beds, pillows; all were his for the having.

Never has a cat looked so hip in a Halloween sweater.
He was my shadow, always looking for a quick cuddle (though he would likely cuddle for hours on end, if I'd let him). He was vocal, too, and we had a lot of conversations ... mostly about food, I reckon. At night, he would invariably curl up next to my head on the pillow, and if I was taking more than my share he would touch his cold nose on my cheek until I made room for him.

The night before he died was our last one in Virginia. He didn't seem particularly nervous or worried as the movers packed our stuff on Saturday. Mostly, he sat on the bar in the kitchen and watched as things happened around him. Later that night, I shared some left-over roast beef with him as Amy and I, devoid of internet access, watched Anthony Bourdain on television. That night, like many others before it, he slept next to my head.

Madeline and Merlin, cuddling.
On Sunday, when the movers came to load the truck, we put the cats in the bathroom to keep them from escaping out the front door. My last interaction with Merlin was scooping him up and depositing him in the bathroom with Amy's cat, Hastur. Of course, I didn't realize it'd be the last time I'd see him alive.

Amy found him later on, laying dead on the bathroom floor. From the looks of things, Merlin passed swiftly and without any real muss or fuss. He was about twelve years old, I reckon; maybe a little older or younger. Since our move to Virginia, he'd developed a cough which I suspected to be asthma or allergies. Despite a number of trips to a cat specialist and hundreds of dollars in tests, we never figured out what was wrong with him.

My hope was that the move to Massachusetts, as well as a new house, would alleviate Merlin's symptoms. Now I suspect the problem might not have been with his lungs, but with his heart. Still, it doesn't look like I'll ever know for sure. Though he seemed as calm as ever, perhaps the stress of the move was too much for him.

Bedtime will never be the same without him.
I'll miss you, Merlin. You were a good friend, always there when I needed you. I'll miss you sleeping near my head at night, sitting nearby as I wrote for this freelance project or that one, and staring at me, annoyed, while I devoted my attention to Warcraft or some other video game. I'm sad that you won't be here to share this new chapter in my games career with me, but I will never forget you.

Happy trails, little buddy.

House Hunting, Day One

I viewed about six or seven properties today with the aid of my faithful real estate agents. Along for the ride was my friend Leonor, who I know from our mutual days at Mythic. The places got better as we went along, and on the way to the best of the lot (in my humble opinion), we were rear-ended at a stoplight by (of all things) a garbage truck. A FRICKIN' GARBAGE TRUCK.

I've been in one other rear-end collision, back when I was around 17 or 18 years old. That was a pretty major accident; I was sitting at a stop light, minding my own business, when a flat bed truck came from out of nowhere and turned my car into an accordion.

The differences between that accidnent is that I heard that truck's tires squealing as the driver attempted to avoid hitting me as I sat (quite stationary) in his path. Today's accident included no such sounds: no squealing tires, no screaming brakes, just the bone-jarring impact of a very heavy vehicle plowing into the car I was riding in.

I'm feeling somewhat stiff and sore. Whiplash is not a myth invented by litigious ambulance chasers, as many of you probably know. I expect tomorrow will be a kaleidoscope of full body discomfort. And before you ask, I've got a follow-up appointment with a chiropractor in the morning.

In any case, the police and fire department showed up to clean up the mess. The real estate agent went away in an ambulance, and Leonor and I continued onward with her business partner to view three more places (after securing another car to drive). The next house was, frankly, awesome. It's only got two bedrooms, but it's in a very nice location and it's very, very big. Hopefully I'll be able to secure it.

Of the last two places we saw, one was promising (though not ready for occupancy, as much of the interior is being finished). The last place, at least from the outside, was (as Leonor put it) "sketchy," so we opted to drive by and head back to the agent's office to get the paperwork moving.

In a nutshell, the day was interesting. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Back in the Saddle

I've got a job waiting for me now with 38 Studios in Maynard, Massachusetts. I won't say all the stress I felt was for nothing. It certainly was a learning experience. I got to spend a lot of time with my kids, for one.

My story of being laid off has been told, but I've been pretty quiet about the weeks and months that followed.

I started out sending resumes to every game company and studio with an opening that even remotely fit my skill set. I even sent my resume to some companies that didn't, in the hope that these blind overtures might pan out. I never expected to hear back from any of those studios, but one of them (38 Studios) contacted me after a mercifully short amount of time. For that, I am very grateful.

The initial email contact evolved into a phone conversation with the studio recruiter, followed by a phone interview, which was quickly followed by an on-site interview in Maynard. What I saw there impressed me, and it wasn't just what little I was shown of the project that got under my proverbial skin. It was the people, above all, that made me want to land the job. Everyone I spoke to brimmed with enthusiasm, talent, and (above all) excitement. They all loved the jobs they were doing, whether it was implementation, design, or art. It was like a breath of fresh air.

The on-site interview was a long process that lasted an entire day. I spoke to a number of people, all from different disciplines. I did a lot of talking, naturally, answering questions and asking a few of my own. At the end of the day I was exhausted, but hopeful, and I wanted it to work out even more. It went well beyond the fear of being unemployed and wanting a job. By that point, it had come down to a very genuine desire to lend my skills to a project that I could really, truly believe in and contribute to in a meaningful fashion.

The offer came before Christmas. It was the best Christmas present I could've hoped for, and I enjoyed my holiday even more knowing that there was something waiting for me ... even if it was nestled in the icy chill of Massachusetts. Lovecraft country, truly! And once we're settled, I plan to explore the places that inspired some of Lovecraft's greatest tales: Salem, Marblehead, Ipswitch, and Bolton.

Today, I fly up to Boston in search of a place for Amy, the kids, and I to live. I don't want to be away from my family, but I see the necessity of the trip even as I feel the pain and worry of leaving my wife and kids behind for a relatively brief time. Once we lock that in, we'll be able to get our stuff moved and start over in a golden (if cold) land of opportunity and adventure.

Yeah, I'm a geek. But I'm an employed geek, using his geeky skills to contribute to the future of MMORPGs.

Things are going to be just fine.

It's Like Being Bipolar

Ever since I was laid off (which, admittedly, was less than a week ago), I go back and forth between extremes of emotion. On one hand, I get elated that I might be able to work on something new and different. The prospect of change is exciting. Then I find myself worrying and stressing because nothing has come through yet.

Like I said, it's only been a week. People tell me not to worry, to try and take it easy. It's all very simple to say, "I'm going to take it easy," but actually relaxing -- and not dwelling on the fact that I'm two months from complete poverty -- is nigh impossible.

Being Laid Off

In June of 2007, I was working as a materials buyer for an orthodontic manufacturer in Southern California. I was also writing freelance for tabletop RPGs, and I'd had some success in that arena. I'd always talked about moving over to computer games, MMOs, but I didn't really think it would ever happen.

Then, one day, I saw a job posting for the upcoming Warhammer MMO. Given that I'd contributed to a couple of Warhammer Fantasy RPG books, I thought that maybe there was a chance they'd be interested in me. I knew a couple of people who worked at Mythic (or who soon would be), so I sent my resume along to them and asked them to put in a kind word for me.

To my surprise, I had a phone interview, followed up by an on-site interview. After the interview, they made me an offer.

I saw this as my ticket out of my relatively low-paying white collar job and into the exciting world of computer game design. I snapped it up, put in my two weeks' notice, and then went about the process of moving my wife, my 2 year-old son, and 4 month-old daughter across the country.

In my time with Mythic, I saw Warhammer Online evolve into a game I was proud to be a part of. I witnessed the game's launch, and then sat in suspense as the numbers were tallied. I did my work, wrote some good material, and kept on keeping on. I worked alongside gifted and creative people, made friends with many of them, and I looked at the future with a mixture of hope and anticipation.

On November 9th, I, along with a number of my co-workers, was let go. I saw the signs of my impending unemployment long before it was actually confirmed to me. I was worried, frightened. Here I am, with my family, thousands of miles from home, and about to become one of the nation's many unemployed workers.

When the hammer finally struck, I'd gotten my sorrow out of the way. I knew what I had to do; failing that, I'd try to get back to California. I joke, "I'll get back if I have to sell a kidney to do it." I'm not sure that the market for kidneys is particularly good here in the States, but even if it is, I'd prefer to keep my internal organs all to myself.

It's day two since my official termination. I've sent out resumes, had friends send my resume to folks at other companies, and browsed job sites looking for positions that I might fit. Is it too early to expect anything back? Probably. The silence is deafening, though. I've just got to be patient, positive, and proactive. The three P's. I've got a little bit of time to find something new -- 2 months, on the outside -- and while that seems like a long time now, I know it's going to fly by.

As far as my experience at Mythic, I'm not bitter. Sad, maybe. I don't necessarily regret the opportunity I had to get a leg up in an industry that I love, but I do regret that things didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped they would. I don't imagine that the game was perfect, but it's a tough market. It's either sink or swim.

Two years, four months, almost to the day. I was proud to be where I was, to work for Mythic and Electronic Arts, along with so many bright and shining folks. I never gave up on Mythic, either; I always looked towards a better day, when things would turn around. If it ever comes to pass now, I won't be there to see it from the inside. No, I'll be somewhere else, focusing my skill, dedication, and optimism on something else.

Gaming Lately

So, two of my work friends moved to Austin, Texas, last month to take up jobs with BioWare (working on The Old Republic; how I hate them). They also happened to be two of my players here at work. Getting new players isn't so much of a problem, but I feel I have a right to complain, anyway.

No, the trouble stems from the fact that it's hard to get the momentum going again after such an upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm not weeping bloody tears over Brian and Bull, but I did enjoy playing with them. They're good guys, and they're missed.

There are also other things that go into the gaming funk, one being the fact that I don't want to plan anything out too far ahead right now. Change, that mysterious pet to Fate, may be a-coming. I'd just as soon avoid any other disappointments until I'm more certain of the future.

Many of the same issues plague non-work gaming, but they are always eclipsed by familial responsibilities and exaustion (in that order). However, I did run Stephen through a quick (15 minute) scenario where he rescued a baby from a group of hungry goblins. There wasn't much in the way of role-playing, but he rolled the old d20 and taught the goblins a lesson or two about the price of kidnapping.

I've cut back hard on the freelancing (though I'm not sure I had much of a choice in the matter). If interesting opportunities arise in the future, we'll see if I feel I have time to squeeze them in. Not having a looming deadline as of late has been interesting, though I am the masochistic sort of person who trades in one stress for another. Gods help me. This last GenCon marked the first time I'd attended the show where I wasn't trying to drum up freelance work. It was somewhat liberating.

Back to gaming, I did manage to get a game in at GenCon. GM Chris from d20 Radio did a test run of the SW Saga edition adventure Murder on the Executor, and I got to play (along with Sterling Hershey and a bunch of other swell guys).

All for now. Back to the grind.

ENnie Results for 2009

I didn't attend the ENnies last night. Most of the times I've gone to GenCon, I've attended them. I guess the pomp and circumstance has worn thin for me, but I still recognize the awards for what they are and appreciate what they do for the gaming industry.

Order 66 won Silver for Best Podcast. It's a well-deserved award for them. I'm biased, being as I've appeared on the show twice and they've always treated me well. I've also been fortunate to hang out (and play SW) with Chris and his d20 Radio friends, smoke some good tobacco, and chat about ... lots of things, not all of which are appropriate to discuss in polite company.

On a personal note, two of the books I worked on won Silver ENnies last night. The Clone Wars Campaign Guide took the silver for Best Supplement, and Scum & Villainy took Silver for Best Cartography. Dark Heresy took the Silver for Best Game, and even though I've got a writing credit on that title, I don't deserve much credit for that. Still, I guess it looks good on a resume.

I'm tickled about Scum & Villainy's ENnie, despite the fact that the cartographers, Jonathan Hill and Chris West, deserve all the credit. Many of the maps in S&V were based on the fevered pencil-and-graph paper maps I scanned and sent in with my final turnover. So even if they weren't particularly attractive, they were transformed into ENnie Award-winning maps by two very talented mapsmiths. Kudos and props to both Jonathan and Chris. You guys are awesome.

The surprise for me is the Clone Wars Campaign Guide. I didn't really expect it to win, especially given the competition that it was up against. I've got a lot of material in that book, so I'm pleasantly surprised that it won.

So that's the long and short of my ENnie commentary for the year. I'm going to get ready for the day. If you're in Indianapolis for GenCon, drop by and say hello to me at Mythic Entertainment's booth today or tomorrow.

What Dreams May Come (True)

As a pessimist, I sometimes find it difficult to think positively. This is especially true when it's me thinking positively about the things I really, really want. All things considered, I've been very fortunate in the way my life has turned out. I've got an awesome family, a great job, and I'm not living in a cardboard box on the side of Route 50.

"Always in motion, the future," as my little green friend once said to a far more powerful Jedi than I. The future is not set ... except when it is, of course.

So I wait, and I watch, and I try to keep a positive mind on the proceedings, while suppressing the nervous feeling my guts. Oh, gods, why was I born a neurotic?

Missionary Work

I've always been keen on introducing new people to tabletop gaming. I'm not entirely sure how many people are interested in gaming, but aren't able (or willing, maybe) to find someone else to play with.

One of my first experiences with being a tabletop missionary was back when I was working at Game Towne in Carlsbad, CA. A couple of younger kids, probably in their early teens, came into the store. They were curious about role-playing, AD&D, etc, and they asked me to help them out. The first thing I did was introduce them to gaming using my own favorite system (at the time): Cyberpunk 2020. I prepared a short adventure and ran them through it after hours.

The next day, they came back and said they were hooked. They were more interested in a fantasy setting, though, so I pointed them towards Elric! by Chaosium. They bought it, thanked me, and I didn't see them again for another couple weeks. When they came back, they wanted more supplements. Seems they'd been playing almost daily since buying the Elric! rules.

It's been about 15 years since then, and sometimes I wonder if they're still gaming.

Another instance of this so-called missionary work was to introduce a few folks at my last purchasing job to D&D. I managed to get a group of three players together, and we played a number of games. Two of the three enjoyed it enough to continue with me; the third decided after her second game that gaming was pretty boring. We eventually pulled in a couple more people (one of my other co-workers, and the spouse of one of the others who'd already been playing).

As with all groups, there were personal issues that eventually arose that made things a little more complex. They weren't related to the game, but involved marital issues between one of the original players and her husband. It was also around that time that I got my offer to work for Mythic, so it was inevitable that the game was going to break up, anyway. Overall, I consider that experience to be a success, even though, to my knowledge, none of the folks involved (aside from me) continues to play D&D. If I'd remained at that job in California, I think we would've continued playing.

Now I have another opportunity to introduce someone to tabletop gaming. I'm looking forward to the chance. I don't know if the attempt will stick or not, but it's always interesting to see how things turn out while having a little bit of fun in the process. Let's just hope I'm not too out of practice to pull it off!

Not Quite Numb

I'm not entirely sure what I'm feeling now. As the dog days of June pass me by, and the hot stickiness of July in Virginia approaches (accompanied by the alien buzz of the cicadas) I find myself feeling not quite numb. I don't know what the future holds, either for myself or for my family. It's like I'm waiting for something, but I'm not entirely sure what it is yet.

I'd been working on WAR's Land of the Dead Live Expansion non-stop from late last year until just about a month ago. As the only writer on the project, I had a lot of work to do (which was also iterated on in a near-continuous process of revision). These days, I'm the writer on another project which I am as of yet unable to talk about in any kind of detail. I enjoy the work immensely, and there's a lot of it that needs to be done.

I've considered throwing the towel in on freelancing, which is more or less the case at the moment (pending another project offer, of course, which I may consider; it really depends on the circumstances). This is mostly due to time constraints, but I also realize it's due to my limited supplies of energy (creative or otherwise). I throw my heart into my work in the office, and by the time I get home there's very little left for me to tap in to. It's hard enough deciding what to cook for dinner some nights.

Vacation approaches, though. We're shutting down for a week (next week, in fact), and though I have few specific plans I'm sure I'll be busy.

Maybe this is what it's like when everything is more or less okay. Maybe my problem is that I'm waiting for a proverbial hammer to fall. It's the pessimist in me, I suppose. Semi-sleep deprivation is probably to blame, as well. Nothing a nap won't cure, I'll wager.

Land of the Dead has been released, and WAR players can travel to Zandri now. It's an awesome expansion, doubly so because it's free to our subscribers. I'm very proud of the work I did for LotD; there's not a part that wasn't touched by me in some way, from the initial concepts of the zone to the quests to the related entries in the Tome of Knowledge. It's humbling to think that I was allowed to have such an influence on even the smallest of things.

I didn't work in a vacuum, though. Everyone on the Encounters team, from artists to developers and designers, worked their butts off to make LotD the best it can be. Hopefully the players who actually read the quests and dialogues will appreciate them, but when it comes down to it they'll be wowed by the art, the landscape, and the mechanics more than anything else.

I really need a nap, but I will survive. Somehow.

Lost in Thought

It's hard to say that success is not always the key to happiness. It certainly helps, I'll grant you that.

For years, back in the 1990's, even before I'd realized my hopes and dreams, I knew that I wanted to write. I wasn't much of a student in school. Hell, I was a terrible one, in fact. Chronic underachiever is probably a good description. Some folks said I was "too smart," that the work bored me. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, but I seem to remember most of my trouble had to do with homework. I hated homework. I'd generally ace my tests, but if homework was half my grade then it didn't matter what I knew and what I didn't.

I got jobs, supported myself. Moved out of the homestead and moved in with my sweetheart. Got married. Through that period, I tried to get my foot in that publishing door. Sent in articles to Dragon, mostly, when Alternity was still supported. Moved on to Star Wars Gamer when it seemed to be a good shot. I never did make it, then SW Gamer got canned, too.

It's not like I got reams of rejection letters. It's not like I submitted reams of material, either. I think I probably sent in one article for review, and dickered with editors about ideas and proposals for half a dozen more.

Lightning struck with Dungeon Magazine, which is really the last place I expected to see my name pop up in print. Erik Mona was to blame, and when I asked him why he picked my proposal for Ord Vaxal, he replied, "I liked your Star Wars mojo." Is that mojo still here, somewhere, buried under all the adult responsibilities that I've taken on, or inherited, or been given?

How long ago was that? It was the December issue in 2003, though I'm pretty sure the article was done and submitted at least five months prior. That said, we're looking at five years plus change, going on six. Since then, every writing credit but one ("Hazards of Dark Sun") I've had has been for a book. They're game books, of course. I've constantly steered my ship towards the gaming star. I'm a gamer, after all, and I was a gamer even before I first dipped my proverbial quill in its companion inkwell.

Now I sit at a desk and I write content and material for a computer game. I get paid, and I keep my kids fed (as much as they'll eat, anyway). I'm not wealthy, but I get by. The freelance work, well, I've always enjoyed it. Some projects were more fun than others, sure, but they were all well worth the time I spent on them. It's tough to make the time anymore. I write so much at work, spending so much creative energy there, that it makes it hard to keep up any momentum at home. Pair that with my kids, as demanding as they are at their ages, and it sometimes seems like a fool's errand.

I was thinking about all the books I've worked on, and I was thinking about all those titles and where they'll be in five, ten, or twenty years. Given the way that new editions are released in the tabletop industry, will my name still pop up on Amazon.com searches after all that time has passed? I don't know. I tend to doubt it, unless I can keep the ball rolling. I've already got credit on books that represent outdated or dead systems.

Writing for roleplaying games isn't like penning fiction or, dare I say, literature. For one, the audience is much smaller. For two, even crappy novels still end up on used books store shelves. So I wonder, what's the life expectancy of the work I do? How long does it stay fresh and new? And does anyone really know my name?

I'm not sure what's next, to be honest. I'll continue with the day job, enjoying the work (because I really do enjoy it, more than I've enjoyed any other job I've ever had) and thanking whatever gods orchestrate this massive cosmic freak show for the chance to do so. I think I'm going to have to take it easy on the contract work for a while. This doesn't preclude more contract work, mind you (you hear that, people? You know who you are!), but I need a pause to take a breath.

It seems so cliched, but I guess I might like to try my hand at fiction. Short stories, essays, a book, maybe. Not sure where to start. I've been writing "to order" for so long, it's hard to imagine relying on myself for the whole enchilada. I don't know how to get started; I don't know where to turn. And one question that aches to be answered is, does the work I've done up until now count for anything in that vast pool of writing talent? Or will the attempt be akin to "breaking in" all over again?

It's not a question for the now. It's a question for the future. Right now I'm too busy and too tired to even consider writing an original short story, much less a book. I think the pause will do me good, so long as it refreshes. I'll wrestle with the details another time, and I'll keep you all informed (if you'd like to remain so).

Bedtime.

Three Men and a Little Legacy

I was invited to participate in tonight's Order 66 podcast. If you really want to hear what Rodney Thompson, Sterling Hershey, and I have to say about The Legacy Era Campaign Guide and the small part I had in putting it together, take a listen.

Access the podcast here.

The hosts, GM Chris and GM Dave, were very gracious. They made me feel special, which is totally contrary to my "I'm a normal guy, dammit!" attitude. Enough of this treatment and I'm going to develop an ego.

WAR Tradeskills Feature: Part 1

There's a new feature on the WAR Herald about trade skills, written by myself and Phil Chan, one of the guys on the Character Systems team at Mythic.

You can read all about it by following this link.

Enjoy!

Saga Edition Polis Massans

I saw this about a week ago on the Wizards web site. It's statistics for the Polis Massan species for Saga edition. You may be wondering why I'd bother post about it here. The reason is, it's something I'd originally written for the Clone Wars sourcebook. I'm assuming it was cut for space reasons, but I'm happy to see that it's up and available for use.

I sure do love those cute Polis Massan guys!

Onward, February

Well, my CP2020 game at work lost two players after the first game, by no fault of my own. Not sure where we'll go now, but there's been some discussion of going a new route entirely. We'll know more next week, I gather.

As for other events, my wife's birthday was yesterday. I made her a Cthulhu cake, based on one I saw here (figure I should give credit where credit is due). I don't know if mine looked just as good (I'm no artist), but it certainly took long enough to get it all put together.

Amy and the kids liked it, which is really all that matters.

Happy Birthday, hon! Cthulhu ftagn!

A New Year

Happy New Year, folks.

With the new year, I'd like to try and play more tabletop games. The pickings have been fairly slim over the past year and a half, which is due more to being busy with work and children than to anything else. It's also a question of mood; I'm in no mood for fantasy-themed games, and haven't been for some time. Maybe it's due to my lukewarm feelings on 4E; I don't know.

Any gaming I do will have to take place away from home and without the involvement of my wife. She's more or less resigned to that fact, but she reckons that we will have a whole new era of gaming fun once our offspring are a little more self-sufficient. In other words, in 2-4 years. Ugh.

So this leads me to consider the types of games I plan to run (or maybe even play) in the coming weeks and months. The idea of actually working on a game is somewhat alien to me; it's been so long, after all. The last game I actually ran at work (over a year ago) consisted of a number of free adventures. Not totally original, no, but it was quick and easy until it petered out.

Speaking of petering out, I've got that GM ADD that I've mentioned before. I need to hit some manner of groove with a games I'm running before they really stick. This is all in my head, I realize that, and there are a number of silly psychological elements that either make or break me. Group composition is one; outside influences, such as worries about work and/or home, are another. Still, is it worth just tossing my GMing desires out the window?

I figure not. I want to run a game.

A game of what? I've already tossed fantasy out the window, which leads me to non-fantasy games and settings. What's really been driving me ape lately is Cyberpunk 2020, the game that got me passionate about gaming and game design. Sure, it's retro and the timeline is outdated and there are a number of flaws to the system, but I have this deep desire to revisit it. I'd have to apply my own rules mods, of course -- I can't consider playing CP2020 right out of the box. Though they do allow for a certain amount of min/maxing by players, I can (hopefully) keep it to a minimum.

Other titles I've been wanting to run include Star Wars Saga Edition and Top Secret/SI. SW would be fun, yeah, but I'm not sure I could get off on the right foot with it at the moment. I'm not inspired with a specific campaign idea at the moment, so I'd probably need to wait on running SW. Besides, certain folks (my wife in specific) will probably kill me if I run an SW game without them.

As to Top Secret/SI, it was one of the first games I ever picked up back in the days of my wayward youth. A good system, though somewhat clunky in areas. The clunkiness is forgivable on the whole, though. I have the same issue with the type of game I'd like to run, so I need to think on this one a bit more, too.

So I come back to Cyberpunk again. I do have an idea for a CP game, keyed to a law enforcement game. My favorite CP games were always "cops" games. They gave the players a bit more structure, rather than allowing them to be free-wheeling mercenary sociopathic rampaging cyberpsychotic killers (which gets old after a while). Though such games can (and have) devolved, they are ultimately more stable in the long run.

My preferences of campaign style haven't really changed much over the years. I'm still more keen to serious games with grim atmospheres and not a lot of wise-cracking banter. A little joking is one thing, but if every other word uttered by myself or the players is a sassy attempt at humor or an oft-cited movie quote, it gets in the way of the mood I'm trying to establish. Establishing mood is hard enough when folks are cooperating.

Which comes down to players. I don't have anyone in mind, really, since the game may not appeal to all comers. There are the usual suspects, obviously: those folks I've gamed with at work before, who I know well enough to decide if they'd be interested or not. Then there are the unknown quantities: folks who have expressed a desire to play, but who I've never played with.

So my thought is to send a general query out on the gaming community list at work, saying something along the lines of, "Hi! I want to run a grim and gritty retro-80's law enforcement-themed Cyberpunk 2020 game heavy on house rules. Please reply off-list if you're interested!" and see who bites. With luck, the response won't be so overwhelming that I have to actively dissuade folks from participating; of course, it might be that all I get for a response is the lonely chirping of crickets.

That will be Monday, which gives me a couple days to continue my brainstorming. Until then, sayonara.